Where's Your Bed? (Cleaning His Room)

When all the slats are cut apart and the mattress sags, and when there are so many cardboard forts in Bobby's room that we can no longer walk through it, it's finally time for Mom to show up on the scene. (Don't get me wrong...Bobby needs to clean his room and "clean" it he does-weekly!) Most of the time his door is my solution to his "organization," but every couple of months I simply must go in and take over. This isn't done with his permission and generally not even his knowledge because 3/4 of the contents are removed. Interestingly, Bobby never seems to miss anything. It's really almost like he needs someone to save him from the impulsivity that caused everything to enter and scatter!

Last evening was my chance. Thanksgiving dinner was behind us & Bobby was busy with the family. I just needed 30 minutes to scoop the contents out of the room without him knowing. Piece after piece of torn cardboard, plastic wrappers, dirty clothes and shoes were mixed together with an assortment of pens, paper, toy cars and his complete library of history books & all things Calvin & Hobbes. Tied to one end of his sturdy bunk bed was a large mesh bag filled to the top-a result of his last "room-cleaning!" As a bonus I sorted that too.

25 toy cars are lined up near the stereo. Books are back on the shelf. Everything looks great & here comes Bobby with a hammock his sister has handed down. Thanks, dear daughter! Glad he's collecting again so quickly! I'll be back after Christmas. Until then, the door can be shut if needed.

Love My ADHD Boy!

Nope, this isn't easy. In fact, it's quite overwhelming much of the time. But when I look at this precious child, I can't help but realize my love goes deep. He can't help many of the things he does. It seems like he SHOULD be able to but he really has neurological problems that have scrambled his judgement & impulses. I'm thankful we have people & books to look to for guidance. And, I'm thankful for the breaks we get now and then, to recharge our engines. I'm glad he is maturing in many areas & learning some social & behavior skills.  Bobby is a child who needs love no matter how naughty he is & no matter how unloveable he can be, I'm very glad he's our boy. I hope that when he's an adult we will look back and have few regrets because we gave this our very best! I know we will love him as just as much as we love our "easy-to-raise" kids now that they are adults!!  Bobby, we love you to the moon and back and our love for you likely will take us to the moon and back. Hugs & kisses, kiddo!

Cultivating Hobbies With Your ADHD kids

Hobbies take time, energy and sometimes money. How much time, energy & funding we choose is up to the individual families but in my opinion, it's very necessary! If parents take time to really think about this they will come up with some great ideas. Most of us are running at high-speed from sun-up to sun-down (or son-up to son-down) and we've convinced ourselves we have no extra time to do things like this but the truth is we either brought these kids into the world or chose to adopt them. We aren't doing our job if we don't get our priorities lined up and take time to strategize our parenting as well as take time to enjoy our kids.

Hmm, where could we come up with 30 minutes to think about hobbies OR actually do them? Here are the suggestions I made to myself:

1) TURN OFF the cell phone. For thousands of years people operated without every person they knew having immediate contact with them. It's still possible. Put it away for an hour or two a day.

2) TURN OFF the television, movies, computer, computer games. Again, it is only contemporary society that has 24/7 entertainment at their finger tips.....while at the same time wondering "where can I get time to figure out my kids?"

3) Make a written list of ideas and post them on the refrigerator. We tried this and it was amazing to see Bobby standing by the frig reading through the 75 activities. None of these involved the television, computer or gaming systems. Amazing, huh?!

4) Last but not least, LISTEN. We've tried to keep "plugged in" to what Bobby's talking about and when something seems interesting we check into it. ADHD kids move from one thing to the next so rapidly it's really hard to discern what's a "whim" and what could turn into a real hobby, so I don't run out and break the bank over the latest "idea" Bobby has. I simply listen. When he's been talking about the same thing for weeks we begin to see this may "take" and if it's not expensive we plug in!

Over the past 5 years hobbies have come and gone. Some cost nothing. Some were small change and some were a bit of investment. All were worth it. No question.  

U.S. Quarter collecting, bicycling, sushi-making, ant collecting,  raising baby chicks, bottle-feeding bummer lambs, building forts from scrap wood, skate-boarding, soccer, legos, fishing and the most recent interest......bees. (This one's over-the-top!) We'll know next spring if it's successful. For now, Bobby's reading everything in sight about raising bees!

Bobby And The Bees!

Bobby's latest fascination is BEES! Recently he disappeared only to be found near the neighbor's bee hives. As usual, we quizzed him on what he was doing and as usual, the answers were vague. After what seemed like ages of interrogation, Bobby admitted he had lifted the lid on the top of the box. He assured us he put it back. "I was just curious and wanted to see what it looked like in there" was his explanation. Arrggg! 

"You, young man, will march right back over to the bees and we'll be SURE the lid is on correctly," we informed him as Dad began to lead him back to the bees. It was clear he was nervous about getting close again which made the discipline follow-through even more important. They arrived at the bee hive to discover the lid not quite secure in it's place. As Bobby  reached out to fix the lid, with Dad looking on from a safe distance, a mad bee shot out at his arm and disciplined him. Because he's not allergic to bees, we wasted no time on sympathy.

Since that day, Bobby and Dad have begun reading all about raising bees. They are planning to begin their new venture in the spring. As of today, Mom is apprehensive of bringing bee hives anywhere near where Bobby lives, teases & destroys. No clue how this one will end but we'll find out next spring!

My Favorite ADHD Books!

At first I simply didn't have the time or energy to pick up a book and get past the first paragraph. Now, I will make the time. With this child, it's imperative I have tools and skills to raise him. Those tools don't drop from clouds! I believe every parent of an ADHD kiddo needs to read at least the first book listed here. I guarantee you're missing treasures if you don't grab the rest!

1) "The ADHD Parenting Handbook,"  by Colleen Alexander-Roberts

2) "All Dogs Have ADHD," by Kathy Hoopmann. Published 2009 by Jessica Kingley Publishers.

3) "ADHD And Me: What I Learned From Lighting Fires At The Dinner Table," by Blake Taylor, New Harbinger Publishers, 2008. (This author is currently in college & writes from a "kid's perspective. Fantastic tips!)

4) "Project June Bug," by Jackie Minniti, iUniverse Inc., 2008.  Well-written & insightful novel. A tribute, in my opinion, to any teacher who really takes the time to try to understand!

5) "Cory Stories," by Jeanne Kraus, 2005 Magination Press

This fun paperback book is especially written for kids with tips for parents included. The author has 20 years experience in the classroom and this book was inspired by one of her sons.

The Father's Role In ADHD

So often the nurturing task lands on Mom. Don't get me wrong. I realize many dads look for ways to nurture their children, but more often that responsibility is taken on by mom. Moms do more talking. (Its' a fact. Darn it anyway.) We are frequently the chosen "go-to" person when kids need to talk and figure stuff out and we seem to be the bridge between home and school. So where does Dad come in?

I just read an article on this very subject by Dr. Silver, featured in the Feb./March 2003 issue of ADDitude Magazine, entitled "Why Boys With ADHD Need Their Dads."  WOW! Great article. There are so many ways dads can contribute to the healthy growth of their kids & ADHD boys are high on that need list! I was interested in how important it is for Dad to support whatever program his child is using to become more successful as a young man with ADHD.  If Dad isn't in support that training will not be as successful. Makes a lot of sense to me! I'm a mom who believes we have to jump in with both feet, when parenting. Especially any child with high needs. We see less t.v., do less with friends & read as much as we can, to EDUCATE ourselves on how to make a positive impact in our kids' lives. It must be the priority. No questions asked.

Circumstances such as divorce, death, illness & work dictate that not every dad can "be there." Sadly though, many dads don't choose to.  Bobby's one lucky kid. His daddy is on-board. He plays games and does homework with him, attends all his soccer games, yelling his support as loud as the dads with kids who don't struggle with impulsivity, wildness, anger and destructiveness. Does he get angry & is he ever frustrated? You bet. This stuff isn't easy for any of us. He does seem to understand that his role of support in Bobby's life is crucial. Today, I am thankful for this fact!

I Need Fewer Hours In My Day!

I am honored that this blog entry is to be published with my permission in the Spring 2012 issue of ADDitude Magazine:

Every time I have a day like today I just want BEDTIME to roll around quickly so I can collapse. Most people think they need more hours in their day. Not me. Not any more. It's barely 3:00 on a Sunday afternoon and already I've said, "What were you thinking?" at least 7 times. Here are the doozies:

1) Went out to clean up the shop for a barn party we're planning for our kids and found hundreds of screws & nails everywhere. When I asked "why" the reply was honest. "I was throwing them at pigeons to get the pigeons out of here!" (He picked them up plus did some other work for restitution.)

2) I sent Bobby to the house with a wheelbarrel of produce from the garden. Simple task but when he didn't return I discovered he was "washing the windows" (with a hose & hard water).

3) Came into the house to find a large salmon hook stuck into the couch cushion. (Not sure when this happened since the house is always locked if we're outside working.) Felt ridiculous even saying the words "why did you put a fish hook in the couch?" Not surprising, he doesn't even remember this one.

I love my boy to the moon and back....I think we've been to the moon and back. But I'm a mom of an adhd boy and I'm like all other parents of adhd kids - e.x.h.a.u.s.t.e.d! This is not a "phase" but my daily, hourly life.

This is precisely why FEWER hours in the day would help me out. Fewer hours to repair, scrub, discipline, explain & argue. I don't need any more hours in my day. I'm ready for bed now and it's not much past 3:00.

Depression In ADHD Kids

We're seeing quite a bit of depression these days. Considerably more than ever before. Can't figure out if starting back to school has kick-started it after such a fun summer or if maybe it's just a new phase. One thing is certain, it's heart-breaking. I don't cope well around depression. Doesn't mean I've never been depressed ('cuz I get down from time to time) but it's just not something I can "fix" or make better, so I feel helpless as a parent.  I'm really hoping this is a phase and not a new "normal" in our home. The odds are always against him. This will not be good if the blues stick around. I feel so sorry for him.

Tonight I'm rambling. Not really sure where we'll turn from here but one thing is sure....Bobby's Psychologist should have a handful of good tools for us to try out. Sometimes the days are very long but we're still just taking them one at a time.

Double-Meaning Words & ADHD Kids

Impulsive kids blurt. They don't mean to cause so much embarrassment. It's just the nature of ADHD. Double-meaning terms are some of the worst. This time I'm siding with my boy. I won't use the word here, due to the fact that someone went over-the-top crazy when they heard it slip off his tongue. 

My son is a history buff in the making. He reads about wars & the gold rush all the time. He and all his fishing buddies (and his father) use a phrase taken from the gold rush days....but apparently, this phrase has another meaning in some circles (definitely not ours). When this adult heard our son use this popular gold-rush term, she nearly went into orbit, chewing him up one side and down the other, without even so much as a talk with me as his mother first. I ran to his side to hear the tongue-lashing. I knew it was also a much-used historic term but did not argue with her. Bobby's dad and I talked to him later that evening and explained he did nothing wrong. Unfortunately, she didn't take the time to find out why he used that historic expression, assuming incorrectly that he was simply repeating filth. He felt SO awful after her blasting. This time he was innocent.

Oftentimes these kids ARE guilty when accused.  Sadly too, they're frequently blamed for stuff they didn't do. We're reminding Bobby that this is just life & he won't always have parents to come to his defense. "Just learn to move on and put it behind ya!"

Accepting Advice From the Older Siblings?

There's no reason not to listen to the advice of older siblings. After all, they're spending time in the home and they could be blessed with some rare insight. (Insight is always ok to "hear.") Not long ago, one of our college kids was home for awhile. This kid is incredible with his brother. Takes him to town with him, plays games with him and sometimes rewards him with computer time on his own laptop. Big brother & sisters are all grown & generally away from home but having some time here allowed our oldest son to see the day-to-day behavior and sometimes CHAOS that can be our routine. He had a couple thoughts that we heard him out on, implementing some strategies immediately. Nothing wrong with hearing others' thoughts. Especially when it's someone who really knows & loves the family. (I'll take my own kids' suggestions over some people's....just because my kids truly understand all angles.)

I do try to be gracious to anyone offering their home-grown wisdom. I don't argue or put down suggestions. (The truth is, they don't live with us so they'll never know if we implement any of their ideas!)  Parenting a high needs ADHD child is tough. It is my belief that this job can not be done without continual research and improvement as a parent.

Bobby's worth everything we're putting into parenting. We want him ready to be successful outside our home in a few more years!

Great Book: "From Defiance to Cooperation"

Why is my son getting more and more hostile & angry? Why must he argue about everything? Oppositional Defiance Disorder (ODD) exists in a large number of ADD or ADHD kids. While it can be caused by a number of different factors, one thing is true...it's FRUSTRATING to deal with in your kids. There is however, a difference between being clinically diagnosed with ODD & exhibiting anger from time to time. Our Psychologist recommended this book by John F. Taylor, PhD: "From Defiance to Cooperation," and I have barely put it down since it arrived. In my opinion it really gets good at Chapter 3, "Create Greater Emotional Safety," but everything in it is pretty helpful! We bought a used copy on Amazon.com for just a few dollars, plus shipping. Every parent dealing with strong defiance would gain tremendous insight from reading this book & the author states that Chapter 3 should be read by the teacher(s) of defiant kids! 

There's no question things will look up around here when we understand more about this "ODD" thing!!

sChOoL sTaRtS tOmOrRoW ~ YiKeS

Three short months ago we emptied out his backpack into a pile somewhere & began using it for fun summer outings which included camping & fishing. We tossed the alarm clock & fired up the barbecue. There was a family reunion, summer camp & a trip to visit family in Alaska. But suddenly it seems to have come to a screeching halt. Summer vacation has officially ended & school begins in the morning.

Certainly many unknowns lie ahead (who am I kidding - we've been here before. We know exactly what will be happening.) For tonight however, I'd like to hope. I'm hoping maturity kicked in a bit & hoping Bobby makes & keeps good friends. Hoping he "gets" Math just a bit more than last year & doesn't disappear during that class. I hope he respects his teacher even if he doesn't like him every day & I really hope he gets his work done at school so we don't pour over it every night.

A new backpack replaces the old & is loaded with most of the supplies from his list. I'm getting ready to pack his lunch with some of his favorites. Cautiously optimistic about tomorrow & the rest of the tomorrows 5th grade will bring. Love you, Bobby. You're an amazing boy!

The Family Reunion Meets ADHD

Months ago, my side of the family began piecing together what looked to be a pretty fun weekend. A date was chosen, activities were planned and the invitations went out. As the weekend got closer I have to be honest, some feelings of fear and apprehension began to creep into my thinking, dampening my excitement just a tad. Social gatherings have already been challenging for our family and I know we're not alone.

This was to be no ordinary reunion as the event would move from one home to another as well as involving a day in the mountains with  lots of outdoor fun together. We knew Bobby would become overwhelmed with the activities, large groups of people, our preoccupation with enjoying family we hadn't seen in ages. Also, we have learned that if Bobby doesn't feel he's fitting in, things can go badly quite rapidly.

One thing that can make or break a large get-together is the feeling of acceptance (or lack thereof). So often families who venture out meet with judgement & harsh criticism. The onlookers may feel the parents of this child should really "work a bit harder at their discipline" and those same well-meaning family members may even dare to offer their advice. (When all this happens, it really isn't a fun place for these special kids OR their parents!) I recommend only attending a family reunion after really thinking out your "plan" & enlisting the help of trusted family who can help spell you off, allowing you time to visit and enjoy activities.

The good news tonight is that we had a fantastic weekend. No question. Was it flawless? Nope. Our son hid under a car at the first house, hiding from cousins. He said a few embarrassing things that fortunately only a few people heard and we "lost" him several times. But all-in-all, the weekend was filled with laughter, learning to fly fish, (thanks to a cool cousin), swimming, eating & having great fun together.

Looking forward to the next reunion!!! Thanks little buddy. Thanks for letting us share you with the entire family! (I love my family and appreciate their support & acceptance. They're awesome!)

"My Brain Is Broken"

Recently I was stunned to hear these words from my son. His statement was matter-a-fact, with no pouting or self-pity. He had incorrectly processed my information on ADHD. I had talked to him about exactly what this whole "ADHD thing" meant. (Over a YEAR ago!) I explained in very basic terms. Terms my doctor had used to help me understand the label. Our psychologist had used a small drawing of neurons in the brain and how that all worked (or didn't work).  I thought Bobby understood as I even went on to explain this in even more basic terms to him. We zeroed in on the fact that many people have this disorder. Girls as well as boys and adults too. I have also worked to make Bobby aware of how much FUN ADHD people are!! They are comedic & exciting to be around. Shouldn't we focus on the positive aspects of our difficulties in life?

Well, unfortunately, Bobby heard "broken" in our discussion about neurons and that's what stuck. I am reminded today of something I hadn't thought of before. I really need to be positive he's getting positive messages!! Great reminder! Son, your brain is DEFINITELY not broken!!! Love you!

There's Proven Help for ADHD Kids!

I'm a mom on a perpetual pursuit for tips & tools that will help me work effectively with my son. He's growing and changing. What Bobby suffered with at 5 is different at almost 11. Books stacked around me and always new websites saved in my "favorites," I'm finding that I have to work to keep up! One thing is certain. There IS help for ADHD kids! No question. I'll wrap up this blog entry today with the short list of my favorites:

1) Dependable routine

2) Plenty of sleep

3) Exceptional nutrition (For us this means only a little sugar. Few processed foods. Many vegetable and fruit servings each day, especially the deep greens like spinach, broccoli & kale! Wholewheat bread & whole grains - we make wheat pancake mix from scratch & use with blue berries. Delicious. Lots of water. No soda or juice drinks that aren't 100% juice.) Ok...rare treats!

4) Working closely with teacher/principal

5) Counseling for Bobby & us, as needed and with a very well-trusted physician, psychologist or preferably a child psychologist.

6) Daily outdoor activity

These things WORK for us. These make our days manageable. We top this off with TONS of praise whenever Bobby does something terrific. (Praising him in public makes him beam!) The scolding/correcting does not happen in public. (Well, in a perfect world they NEVER happen in public...) Generally only in private. His confidence & success are improving leaps & bounds and I attribute it to "getting on board" with his ADHD!

Clean & Quiet - Am I At The Right House?

We can almost hear the silence. I've only cleaned the house once in a week. This is what it's like when there are no kids at home. Wow. Bobby is at summer camp. He has an older brother and sister that are staff there so we know he's in good hands. The college students who staff the camp are high-energy, happy young people who are there because they want to be--it's all good. I don't feel a bit guilty for enjoying this time with my husband. Moms and dads really gotta have a bit of this once in a while.

We chose a good camp that's been operating for many, many years. We visited the camp first to see what we thought & we talked to staff members. They are fully-capable of working with our ADHD son! (Surprise, surprise. He's not the only ADHD kid there!)  Because we did our "homework," we were able to make the 4 hour drive home, knowing Bobby's in terrific hands. This wouldn't be happening if we didn't know for certain it was a good choice. He may spin loud and crazy circles around us but we ADORE him!

I am at the right house. I'm going to enjoy this until it's time to go pick him up! This is rejuvenating time. Time for us to have complete conversations. We needed it. Taking another deeeeep breath...relaxing.

We Must Advocate!

The job description is broad: "Mother, judge, lawyer, veterinarian, nurse, event coordinator, chef, maid, bus driver"...and the list goes on. Moms are stretched already but if there is a higher-than-normal-needs kid in the house, we have no choice but to add to that description. Now there is: "Advocate, pioneer (relatively new territory), campaigner, messenger (we need to share what we learn), spokesperson, pleader (some of this is necessary).

Ignorance has no place in our lives as parents of ADHD kids. We must read, listen & learn. Our kids can NOT slip through the cracks. Our most important treasure on earth is our children and for them we will do whatever it takes to get them the best help.

What does this mean? This means working side-by-side with their teacher, school & principals. This means passing along tips that are helpful but then getting out of the way so that the teacher can work! Advocacy means listening to our children's needs and being there for them. Advocacy does not mean we excuse their behavior or criticize the people around them. In our home it has a positive spin. School isn't the only place that is challenging for our kids. All social areas can be chaotic for them. If my child is sent out of a church class every week, I need to get into that classroom. I ask the teacher what it would take for my child to be successful. If that class/teacher is only capable of working with the "easy" kids it's my job to find another church or class. This one doesn't work. We experienced this. Our son has attended a new class for 7 months and has never been sent out. When he was absent a "we miss you" message was sent. YES!!

Being a parent of a high-needs kid (specifically talking about ADHD here) is not easy. I roll up my sleeves and get busy every single day. I walk a fine line as an advocate. As a parent I want to go to bat for my son but I don't use the bat, so-to-speak. The other adults in his life are important to me and I treat them as such. (Yeah, even if/when I don't agree!)  Advocacy becomes a life style.

Summer Camp Is For Parents!

The planning is over. Registration, the months of waiting, dreaming, packing & the long drive. All behind us. Bobby's at camp! He's in a cabin with 7 other boys and 2 counsellors. (Terrific ratio!) I don't know if any of the other boys in his cabin are ADHD but if the national ratios are accurate, he could be the only one which would make it a tad easier for everyone. 

We don't just drive to camp, drop off our boy & his mountain of necessities for the week and leave. We spent time talking with the director, camp nurse and his counsellors. We made a few notes on good strategies that work for getting him to REALLY take his meds and also how to "chill out" when over-excited. (Brief notes!)  Then I made his bed with the extra blankets and pillows that will make it feel more like home. Time to turn the car toward home and spend quality time with Dad!

Bobby will be fine at camp. His brother & sister are staff there & the other young people know and love him. He gets to do the things he's really been wanting to do like sailing & survival skills. He'll eat like there's no tomorrow & enjoy a camp curfew which is much later than home!

But let's get this right.....Camp is for US! Bobby's got an insane amount of energy and defiance to match it. We can't sleep at night until we are positive he's asleep. We bolt out of bed the second his feet hit the floor in the morning & we can't take our eyes off him during the day. With this 24/7 schedule we are honestly, worn down. WE are ready for Camp! Dad & I just might finish our conversations without forgetting what we were saying.  We'll get some projects done around the house that require accuracy & focus.

We'll play & we'll rest. In two weeks we'll all be ready for the grand reunion!  We'll race toward the camp, snatch up our "all-smiles" boy, listen to his non-stop stories all the way home & then force him to take his first shower WITH SOAP in 14 days. Then, we'll begin saving for next year's Camp Get-Away! (Well worth it!!!!)

Sometimes Money Matters to ADHD Kids

In our case right now, money is a pretty strong "carrot" to dangle! We believe whole-heartedly that kids should be able to earn money in a money-driven society. So, we have created earning potential here at home. Bobby now receives a monthly allowance given to him about the same time as our payday (so we don't forget and blow it!).  He can also earn money for grades. A=$5; B=$3; C=$2. Then we take back cash for D's and F's.  Amazingly, this last quarter of school he began to realize the earning potential here and got NO D's or F's. That grade report cost us a whopping $42!!

Today was "Finance Day" at our house. I've been looking forward to this for a few weeks. He had done some big jobs around the house (not regular chores) and had some cash coming from those, plus his allowance and report card. I laid out his earnings in ONE DOLLAR BILLS! This was impressive to him, until I began to ask for "cash back."  He also knew that debts were paid on Finance Day! "Please give me $5. for the shampoo bottle you emptied just for fun in your bath. And I'd like $2. for the gum you took from the car without asking. You climbed on the rocks you've been asked to stay off and broke a very nice fern plant to shreds. I'd like $10. for that. You owe your uncle $10. and let's remember to put some into savings."  At the end of our discussion, half the piles of one dollar bills were gone. He still had a nice chunk for something he's been saving for (more fishing gear) but he SAW how much cash was used for restitution.

We discussed how he could actually KEEP all of his earnings next month. Did we cure impulsivity with money? NOT ON YOUR LIFE! But this is one more step in the longgggg path to guiding a busy boy. We can not let up on our vigilance for a minute. Every "plan" contributes to reaching a successful goal!!

Will the Farmer Miss Just ONE Cantaloupe Plant?

I swear Bobby thinks we're stupid. Does he really believe he can pull this stuff right under our noses and have it go unnoticed? This sort of caper doesn't occur as often as it used to fortunately, but as far as we're concerned the fact that it EVER happens is frustrating beyond belief!

We each have a garden patch in the family garden this year and our son has enjoyed having his own tiny plot. He helps in the bigger patches but his own section is his responsibility. He dug it out and took care of it all on his own. He chose to grow green beans, beets & radishes.

Just across the ditch from our property is a wonderful organic garden started a full month before ours & thriving beautifully. We admire the farmer's garden as we work in ours. I suppose we spent a bit too much time admiring his work. Today, Dad found an enormous cantaloupe plant growing out-of-place in Bobby's little garden. No detective work needed here. None of us has a plant THAT big! Upon inquiry Bobby admitted he crossed the little ditch while we were inside the other evening & bravely uprooted just one plant so he'd have a nice one all for himself! We explained to him that next year when the farmer began planting he should just remind us to get an earlier start and we will. Then our plants will be the same size!

Back in "the day" a good visit to the wood shed and emptying of the piggy bank would have been the all-too-fair treatment for this awful behavior. (The woodshed might have been a good idea!) We chose to discuss, have him write the apology letter & we are now waiting for the farmer to be back in his patch. Bobby has some cash ready he was saving for a fishing pole. He knows he has to offer the amount of $ that plant could have brought in for the farmer. He fully understands his wrong (but goodness knows we've not seen the end of these sort of escapades!) Gotta love this kid. I sure do!!!

UPDATE: The farmer dropped by and had a serious discussion with Bobby. (We had called him ahead and explained to him that we didn't want him to tell our son it was "ok.")  He charged him for the seed and what each of the 8 canteloupes would have brought him at the store. Bobby handed over the $15. and promised not to do it again. The farmer told him he would like Bobby to one day work for him!

3 Months of NO Homework?

Kids aren't the only ones who quiver at the sound of the word, "HOMEWORK." While some parents comfortably fit the homework routine into their already crowded evenings, I'm thinking the majority breath a silent (or maybe not-so-silent) sigh of relief when summertime rolls around! I'm a teacher who assigns a minimal amount of evening paperwork for kids & I'm THRILLED when there is none of it at home June, July & August. I guard heavily the "family-fun" concept.

However, there are plenty of hours in every summer day to read and brush up on the weaker skills.... So, between swimming lessons and camp how 'bout we squeeze in some multiplication tables? Not talking copious amounts of worksheets here. And....I think we'll bring back some earned screen time. How about Bobby learning his 8's in order to have 30 minutes of computer time? (We "banned" computers & Wii over a month ago.) Would this be a big enough carrot? Think I'll ask him...

Absolutely incredible!!! Bobby's older brother is already "on it." His "cool" older brother is a natural at getting Bobby to do anything he suggests.  Homework during the summer takes a bit of a different flavor. Won't Mr. C be surprised when homework-dodging Bobby returns with those dreaded multiplication tables mastered?!  (One can hope we get them mastered!!)

The "Family Meeting"

We put this "family counselling session" off as long as possible. Why should we pay a doctor to listen to our cute-but-creative son pull responses from the clouds? No, this would be a waste of money. We may have been wrong. Time will tell, but the first session went remarkably well. It was the "get acquainted" session, filled with questions about why we were there. Fortunately our doctor has a pretty good clue as to why we were there, since he worked with me 6 months and has been working with Bobby's dad the past two. 

Our goal is to gather tools, pull-together more on the same page and listen to someone from the "outside" as he puts some objectivity into our relationships. None of us really has time to sit in an office for the rest of our lives, but it can't hurt to try it out for a bit.

Bobby seemed to enjoy the hour. He listened to our doctor & responded appropriately (most of the time). I had explained beforehand he just needed to give his honest answers. Nothing was "right" or "wrong." The doctor asked, "Why are you here, Bobby?" to which he quickly replied, "to learn to make good choices & be honest."  Great! We're off to a terrific start!

Many parents feel bringing a counsellor into the picture is a sign of weakness or is admitting they aren't perfect. There you have it. We're admitting we are weak in this situation & NOT perfect. So, a counsellor's office is right where we belong! We've raised 3 kids (now in their 20's)  who appear at this point to be fairly strong, secure and stable & all of that without the use of family therapy...but we need it now! (Not that it wouldn't have been helpful back when the older 3 were younger!) ADHD has thrown our son a curve ball but darn it, we're hoping some more good skills will help him hit it out of the park! Thanks, Dr. M!

Heartwrenching Honesty

I've never met a mom who says the parenting journey was easy. Further, the mothers I know of ADHD children have experienced heart-wrenching agony & even feelings of despair. These precious high-energy children don't intend to turn their homes and families upside-down. They were born with deep-rooted issues that show themselves in continual impulsivity, destructiveness, depression & confusion. It's not the kids' faults. They need our constant guidance and strength and we are tapped-out! Most of us eat, drink and sleep in a circus-like combat zone. Sure, there may be families who don't experience any of this but I haven't met them. Most are in over their heads.

Well-meaning family & friends whom we respect and love have often said, "he'll grow out of this" or "you'll soon see the light at the end of the tunnel." Parenting is 24/7 so we barely have time to head-off the hourly issues, let alone look to the future!  Besides doing damage control, making restitution with him & all that goes with that stuff, we have an earnest desire to implant crucial life skills in our boy. We want him successful in his future and we cannot lose sight of this need.

It's so frustrating that so much parenting time has been spent on negative issues. We continue to fill our family time with fun activities on a regular basis so that when Bobby is grown he somehow (miraculously) will remember the fun & not just the difficult times he experienced as he learned to cope with his "label." 

Today we see change. We see a boy who is definitely thinking about choices, offering on his own to take up responsibility around the home and not destroying things. He understands more about honesty & truthfulness. We are celebrating these things so he knows we're proud of his progress!

For years I have felt buried - no light in sight. I don't know what tomorrow holds & I'm not holding my breath. But today there is light & each day the light gets brighter as we get closer to it. I pray my son will be successful because of ADHD and not dragged down by it! I truly love this little boy!

It's Getting Easier - Fact Or Fiction?

FACT! Either we have a calm-before-the-storm situation here or Bobby truly is growing out of much of his naughty behavior. Only time will tell, but for now we are embracing this with everything we've got! Have to admit it's an unfamiliar path. So many things on a daily basis are different. Traveling has always been fun with him but this last road-trip was perfect. No question! He's a normal boy with prankster blood running through him but he has a brother and sister with that trait so we chalk it up to the family-link! When calling the front desk from our hotel room recently, he grinned as he said "thank you" at the end of his call, promptly adding "I love you" just for kicks. He burst into laughter after slamming the phone down quickly. No time outs. No restitution. Even a couple of smiles from Mom and Dad who were a bit surprised! I suppose if Bobby begins saying "I love you" to everyone he meets we may intercede but something tells us this was his impulsivity at work & no harm was done.

Nothing was stolen. No damage was done to anything. I don't remember any out-of-control arguing. Bobby even mentioned on the way home he thought he was maturing.  Today he did normal chores without protest & confessed to something he had done when we weren't looking.  Truly this is something unique we've been seeing in the past 3 weeks or so. (While exercising is not known in any research study to "cure" ADHD, I find it keenly interesting that our regular family bicycling began about 6 wks ago!)

Is Bobby still ADHD? Definitely. He is showing the ability though, to think about things before he says or does them. Something we have discussed/yelled/preached ad nauseum over the past 8 years. It's "sinking in" is what we're thinking.  In one of his worst situations which is crowds of people (any number over 3 or 4!) he still shows his frustration in negative ways at times. However, even that is improving.

I'm not saying our path through the future will be lined with roses or that our son has magically turned into a completely different child. We are simply choosing to see the POSITIVE that comes along, especially since there's been SO much negative dealing with ADHD & Oppositional Defiance in this busy boy.  Things look really good right now. Embracing it!

Boys Love Bows-N-Arrows!

"Mom, look what I made!! LOOK WHAT I MADE!!"  Bobby shouted at me as I dragged myself out of my car at the end of a busy school day. His excitement brought true joy to my heart! I stopped in the yard to watch him shoot his dull arrow out of a homemade broom-handle & bungee cord bow. Grandpa's "real" bow set has nothing on this new one of Bobby's! (He drools over grandpa's every time we're at his house!) My mind shot back a few years to his other homemade bows & arrows which all looked adorable but only "dropped" the arrows straight down onto the ground. I'm thinking with our recent departure from gaming systems, Bobby has lots more free time to be creative. Excellent. Results we hoped for!

At this point his primary goal is distance. No pets or windows have been harmed & he's plenty satisfied with seeing how much further he can shoot. For now, this is a good activity but I'm not going to be stupid about it. ADHD kids shift gears rapidly based on boredom. If his attention shifts from distance to injury & damage, the bow and arrow set will magically disappear.  Right now, arrow-shooting is the favorite activity. I'm good with this!

ADHD Lad Meets Antiquated Activity

Once upon a time....there were children who had no televisions, no gaming systems & yet no boredom. These children were much like today's youth yet driven to use a bit more creativity in their play. This summer our home is stepping back in time. Not very far back. Alas, the television will remain, with it's 3 fuzzy channels. But we will desperately try to enter the time zone prior to gaming systems. (Yikes! Can we do it?) Our 10 year old has informed us this is unthinkable yet we think it will happen. He looked as though his life was ending. He is certain this is not "cool." We have just scratched the surface today and compiled a list of vaguely familiar activities & we look forward to begin checking them off one-by-one. The basic premise is: More family time & more creative time. These are wonderful sports (enjoyed still by teams & leagues around the globe) & activities here. Unfortunately, gaming has invaded family time that once was also spent doing these things!

Our List: basketball, foosball, bowling, swimming, soccer, tetherball, frisbee, air hockey, waterskiing, hiking, football, roller-blading, barbecues, backyard parties, trampoline, tetherball, frisbee, backpacking, skateboard, taking skateboard apart & putting it back together (that's an activity!), baseball, park, slip-n-slide, sailing, fishing with net, fishing with pole, gardening, cooking, baking, chores (a few), pets, riding bike, air soft gun, table games, puzzles, legos, toys, building a fort, digging a cave, fixing motorcyle, riding motorcycle, camping, road trip, roller skating, playing piano, climbing wall, rock wall, water park, write to grandparents, horseback riding, photography, concerts, geocaching, boating, rafting, boomerang, science camp, kites, rock collecting, museums, scavenger hunts, snorkeling, arts & crafts, hide & seek, model rockets, capture the flag, kick the can, volleyball, marco polo, marbles, some movies, balloon fights, volunteering, zoo, build something, visit farms etc....

We will leave the systems locked up for the summer, effective immediately. Though the very statement sounds dark and foreboding, our hopes are that we have a GREAT time together making memories!

P.S. We do still remain (obviously here) connected to the outside world. Simply searching for ways to combine healthy activity & productivity with our family life. Two years ago, these game systems weren't part of our home & we think we may like it better that way. We'll see!
One week down. Nobody is complaining. Lots of outdoor play & fishing for activities!

Now Who's Exhausted? Huh? Huh?

"Mom, slow down!" and "Mom, I can't peddle another block!" are some of my favorite phrases these days. After 10 years of desperately trying to catch my hyperactive & willful child, I can honestly say "I'M GETTING EVEN!"  First step was to get some bikes.  A few more supplies and we were rolling.  That was 3 weeks ago & since then we've logged 75 cycling miles & had lots of family fun!

I love my son to the moon and back in spite of the continual agony he puts me through. All moms "get" that. But quite frankly, I'm enjoying the current game of exhausting him!

Last weekend, bikes on the car rack & helmets, water bottles & a few granola bars tossed in the back seat, we dashed off for a neighboring town that boasts fine riding paths. We would ride from one park over to another by the bridge and back. Our toughest goal yet - a 25 mile ride! The path started out flat & fine but then came a few good hills. Around mile 12 Bobby reported from behind me, "I can't take any more of this." (Hmm, sounds like something I've said once or twice.) I pretended not to hear. He can run the property from sun-up to sundown & still take 2 hours to go to sleep so I have no doubts it won't kill him to keep riding. I see the bridge less than a mile out. We'll make it to our goal. He shouts a few more times into the wind and as my husband rides up near me I ask him if it's bad to feel glad we're FINALLY able to tire Bobby out? We share a laugh and ride on. Fortunately, this path ends near a skate park & fishing pond. Bingo! He's forgotten his sore muscles and checks out the cool park amenities.

On the second half of our journey we stop a couple times to look out over the river & grab a snack. We ride into the park exhilarated by a 25 mile evening challenge. Exercise hasn't done any permanent damage & we quickly add the miles to our ride log. Just spent 3 hours together with no screens (tv, computer, gaming). Bobby hasn't destroyed anything & everyone's happy. Bicycling seems to be our current cure for ADHD. Lovin' it!

The Pepper Street "Gang"

Stories are a big part of our bedtime routine. Bobby loves baseball & history. Tonight we read a story about Jackie Robinson's tough beginnings. The story detailed his teen years and time spent with the "Pepper Street Gang." This rough group of youth wasted their days away throwing rotten fruit at passing cars and swimming in the city water reservoir where "No Swimming" signs were posted! (Tragic teen behavior!) One day a teacher of his took him aside and told him, "Only first-class suckers allow others to lead them into doing what they don't want to do. It takes guts to stand on your own two feet."  Jackie thought a lot about what his teacher had said and decided right then he didn't want to follow the wrong crowd any more. He began setting worthwhile goals & achieving them!

Jackie Robinson's baseball career is legendary as he was the first African-American major league baseball player. He was inducted into the Baseball Hall of Fame in 1962. Pretty good goal-setting! Bobby listened quietly to the story & I'm hoping he learned some lessons from Jackie. Maybe when he's a teen he won't spend his free time throwing rotten fruit!

 

Loose Canon on Wheels!

Over the years I've read the warnings to parents about ADHD kids' safety or lack thereof. Seems many of them, or maybe the majority of these kids are reckless to say the least. None of that reading prepared me for my first journey into the world of bike-riding with my highly-impulsive 10 year old! We live outside city limits where homes have pastures between them and few cars drive by. Bobby has experienced bike-riding only in this setting....up until last week.

Ready for a new family hobby, the guys fixed up used bikes & I bought a new one. We dug out the helmets & bought our first bike rack for the back of the car. Off to town we headed, to ride bikes in seemingly quiet neighborhoods. I was pretty excited about this new venture, thinking the exercise and fresh air would be great for us all. Bobby would need a little guidance to get started but I really didn't think that would involve more than, "Stay on the right" and "Watch for cars." Wrong! I spent the first mile yelling into the wind, "GET YOUR FEET OFF THE HANDLEBARS!" Once he began using the pedals correctly, it was a myriad of unforseen issues such as riding in circles around me, swerving into me when passing me on the right & failing to come to complete stop at the signs. Where was his father? His back tire needed more air so we started without him. What could go wrong? After "we" improved our skills in a fairly quiet neighborhood, I decided to take him just a few more miles. Everything was going well when I turned left onto a side street and Bobby missed my cue. He was gone. We had no "game plan" for if we got separated so he chose to find his way back to the car on his own, crossing a busy street in the process. Sure, he made it ok, but we've put a back-up plan in place for next time we get separated. 

Enjoying the family bike time. Rode 20 miles yesterday along a beautiful country bike path. No cars or dogs! ADHD kids DO need strong guidance in the safety arena but with that all in place....they burn piles of wild-child energy & enjoy valuable time with Dad & Mom! Ok, Bobby, where are we headed next?

ADHD Bedroom/Disaster Zone

I can ignore my kids' bedrooms for quite some time, but there does come a point when I simply cannot pass the doorway without beginning to envision a cleaning spree. Today's my day off but rather than catch a few extra winks and eat a leisurely breakfast, I chose to bolt out of bed and begin sorting the chaos that is Bobby's bedroom! After a few trips to the garbage bin, scrubbing sticky goodness-knows-what gunk off the chair & desk, and adding 27 crumpled socks to the laundry pile, I'm fairly pleased. (I only wish I knew where those 3 frogs went!)

My son's ADHD makes it almost impossible for him to keep anything "sorted" or "organized." I've watched him try to use the labeled baskets & bins over the years but he simply can't stick to it. We've found that storing a good share of his toys in a locked closet helps so much. From time-to-time we swap out those toys & it's like Christmas all over again!

Today we begin again with a clean area. I warned him ahead of time I was "going in" so he won't be shocked when he gets home from school. The disaster zone command center is ready for my boy. Now, where's my breakfast?

"I Won't Let Go," Rascal Flatts

This song goes straight to my heart every time I hear it. We all face "fights" in life ~ loss and troubles of many kinds. My fight isn't harder than others, but it is very real, difficult & sometimes even painful. Hearing the words in this song gives me hope. Knowing that people care means more than anything in this world. Rascal Flatts, thanks for the lyrics to your fairly new hit:

Rascal Flatts - I Won’t Let Go Lyrics
It’s like a storm,
That cuts a path.
It breaks your will.
It feels like that.
You think you're lost,
But you're not lost on your own.
You're not alone.
I will stand by you.
I will help you through.
When you’ve done all you can do.
If you can’t cope,
I will dry your eyes.
I will fight your fight.
I will hold you tight,
And I wont let go.
It hurts my heart,
To see you cry.
I know it’s dark,
This part of life.
Oh it finds us all,
And we’re too small,
To stop the rain.
Oh but when it rains...
I will stand by you.
I will help you through.
When you’ve done all you can do,
And you can’t cope,
I will dry your eyes.
I will fight your fight.
I will hold you tight,
And I wont let you fall.
Don’t be afraid to fall.
I’m right here to catch you.
I won't let you down.
It won't get you down.
You're gonna make it.
Yeah, I know you can make it,
'Cause I will stand by you.
I will help you through.
When you’ve done all you can do,
And you can’t cope.
And I will dry your eyes.
I will fight your fight.
I will hold you tight,
And I wont let go.
Oh I’m gonna hold you,
And I won't let go.
Won't let you go.
No I won't.

Beautiful, meaningful words, Rascal Flatts!

Fast-Paced Kids In A Fast-Paced World

If you can hold still long enough to really process the following thought,  it could possibly make some sense. Many of our fast-paced kids come from fast-paced adults and a hurricane-paced society. Seriously, we adults - the ones they look up to, are dashing around at lightning-speed with our gadgets that don't let us get a second away from anything. We work several jobs, while running errands and eating on the go in between those jobs. Somehow, in the craziness, we are trying our best to raise well-adjusted kids who can sit still and remain calm while we zip about. We pride ourselves in owning everything that's needed to track our lifestyles and it's all branded "multifunctioning" like us! Family time consists of more and more meals around the big-screen t.v., shuffling rapidly through 150 channels while keeping a couple favorites in small side screens. (Darn it. If I can work 3 jobs I should be able to watch 3 shows at once.) Toss in a couple of laptops and our "family time" is complete.

And then there's entertainment: Game Cube, Xbox, DS, Wii, Nintendo 64, Game Boy, Game Boy Advance. I'm behind on all the latest but it's generally not "Monopoly" and "Slap Jack." Wow! My heart rate increased just writing all this!

We cannot think to change society's speed and drive at this point. Neither can we force our kids to live a different pace than we choose. I do not discredit the real affects of clinical ADHD. I do not suggest for a moment that the only factor in our kids' issues here is our pace. That would be to trivialize something larger than life. But as I sat still for 20 minutes this evening, I wondered if maybe 5% of Bobby's rate of motion comes from keeping up with us? And maybe, just maybe, if we keep looking for ways to "get away from it all," and relax in nature, he will benefit too.

Step Aside "Reality" TV!

Seriously, what would any of the current "Reality" TV shows have on MY reality? No, I wouldn't want cameras in every room of my home, nor would I want my son to think for a second that his behavior was worthy of entertainment, but for a few minutes today my girlfriend's idea was novel. One of my closest friends in middle school and I reconnected today. We talked like we hadn't missed a year and it had been 30 years!We talked about her 3 kids and my four. Each one with their special qualities. We discussed husbands, jobs & life in general....which led to a deeper discussion. She asked about my youngest child. Everything in the conversation became heavier and she accurately sensed the overwhelming feelings I have raising this child. Her support was so sweet but it was her last suggestion that still has me smiling. "You guys really need to turn this into a reality tv show!" I gasped and then laughed out loud. Amazing thoughts people have when they are looking in at us! Her thoughts were genuine I could tell and I felt validated to hear her say, "You two are experienced parents who work incredibly hard to guide this child and he is trying to stump you at every turn! A show would be every bit as entertaining as the other Reality shows out there today."  Hmmm, the only time I've thought of cameras in this house was for tracking Bobby, so this was intriguing, but for now we'll just pretend we're celebrities and continue entertaining our "live" audiences at school & in the community! (We could change our minds in the future though, Lisa - thanks for the fun suggestion!!)

ADHD & Church

If you have never taken an ADHD child to church and you're thinking about it... plan well! Some families have made regular church-attendance a part of their routine but even if it's a routine, it isn't easy with a bouncing, darting child in a place of worship. I do not recommend "dropping off" this child in a kids' class and walking away. Get to know the teachers just as you would in his/her school classroom. And, in all fairness to the teachers, let them know about your child's special needs. Often times church division teachers do not have a lot of training or experience working with kids with high needs but they are wonderful teachers. Your child needs to feel successful or he will not want to return. If he or she is unsuccessful and always in trouble for a long period of time your child may never want to enter a church again. This really isn't what you're going for!

Some churches are more formal than others. One isn't in general better than the other, but for the ADHD child, less formality might be better. Don't be afraid to let trusted people in on your need for help with your child. These people will offer high-fives, smiles & greetings when others may be so overwhelmed they can't engage him. The less formal congregation may even allow this child to carry out roles traditionally offered to adults...ie helping out in the service.

Stay with your child as much as possible and consider taking along a good book or quiet activity your child enjoys as well as a small snack (non-messy one & only if it's allowed). These things will occupy time and keep child calm during your worship experience. (Also keeps him from dropping things from the balcony & running through the baptistry!)

Change is difficult but if your child isn't successful in church it might be time to re-evaluate his needs and match them up with the right experience.

HiDe ThE kNiVeS?

Are we still talking about ADHD? Still? Curiosity, impulsitivity & lack of reasonable control are the bywords of my daily life and yet there are days I really believe we've taken a step forward into maturity. Then we plunge 3 steps back.

If I didn't need my kitchen knives for chopping and slicing, I'd just get rid of them. I want to lock them up but how helpful is that in teaching my son self- control (as well as very inconvenient for me!)

Boys love knives. I'll never get it but it's a fact. That's why I gave my son pocket knives. Just so he could cut sticks and stuff outside. Not my living room furniture. Not the dining room stool. And not with my knives!

There have to be consequences. Lose the pocket knives for a while. And...he should spend the day outside. Kids that destroy furniture probably shouldn't sit on the furniture and watch movies or play the wii. No indoor playtime during daylight hours for a week. Plus, he's going to work off some $$ for the damages.

Bobby's the caboose in our family but if he thinks for a minute I'm out of ideas or energy...he better think again!!! He has met his match! (Matches - another topic!)

Road Trip Wild Guy!

Weekends can be a recipe for disaster at our house so as often as possible, we're filling them with action & fun! I'd really like a long boring day, listening to music and baking cookies, but that's a rare experience in my home.  Bobby had been doing relatively well in school for the past few weeks (just a 7 on the richter scale instead of 10) but life happens and this week has been rougher at home and school. So......pack the overnight bags and off we go! I'm soloing this one which I've done many times so there's really no "down time" for me this weekend.

Something about the rapidly changing scene out the windows and the mystery of where we'll end up and what we'll do, seems to calm this kid tremendously. He loves museums and historical spots (which his older siblings never did - amazingly) so we can actually educate him while taming his ceaseless energy.

Bobby says I'm taking him to Cabela's while we're here. I'd be almost as excited to get a tooth pulled but this is what HE enjoys and when you've got a busy boy.....ya gotta do what he wants to do as well! (Maybe we'll swap for a fast run through the mall when we're done looking at guy stuff!)

For me, this journey is about understanding, learning & being truly happy. I'm learning, seeking to understand and believe I am truly happy (most of the time!)

"I'm On Your Team!"

I've been down the ADHD path as a teacher but it doesn't begin to compare to traveling this road as the parent.  There's no PhD or Md after my name. Nor do I pretend to understand the science of this disease  disorder.  But I have studied the day-to-day ins and outs of coping with ADHD in the home. I've read until my eyeballs popped & I have listened to the stories of other parents who are trying to navigate this journey. It is because of this exposure and experience that I believe I am fully qualified to make a generalization about improving the self-esteem and functionality of ADHD kids. Here it is...

These kids need people around them who are ON THEIR TEAM! Who believe in them regardless. These people are older student mentors, parents of other kids, preachers, grandparents, coaches, aunts, uncles, brothers, sisters, teachers & principals. I believe that improvement WILL BE SEEN in the kids who have this strong support system in place. No question. The more team players....the stronger the team. I'm not delusional. I know these folk SEE his naughtiness ---but they love him in spite of it!

Bobby has a long road ahead of him but he's going to bed happy more often than angry or sad these days. I tribute the "team players" for this improvement. May every ADHD kiddo be surrounded by such a team.

Where Many Entrepreneurs Get Their Start......

One of my first blogs was about Entrepreneurs and the label they had in common. Just a hunch they didn't sit still in 4th grade Math class.  And look where they are today! Bringing back a favorite blog, to maybe offer hope to another mom....

I've been reading about entrepreneurs & celebrities who admit to having ADHD.  Actor Jim Carrey  soared to the top of my suspicions long ago  & Ty Pennington of "Extreme Makeover, Home Edition" in  more recent years, just proved to me that energy, if channeled correctly, could go far to bless others. I remind myself that they are successful because of that out-of-control energy level & out-of-the-box thinking that are synonymous with ADHD.  Were these celebrities & entrepreneurs tough to raise? I don't know but I'm guessing their mothers' blogs would have looked something like mine or just maybe crazier!

The following excerpt is from Psychology Today, "7 Habits of Highly Successful Entrepreneurs with ADHD," written by  Shane K. Perrault, PhD who is the Coach and Psychologist at Entrepreneurs with ADHD:

"Believe it or Not, people with ADHD are 300% more likely to start their own business (see The Davinci Method, by Garret Loporto), and many business leaders have ADHD. To name a few accomplished business people with ADHD:

• Richard Branson, founder of Virgin Airlines.
• John T. Chambers, CEO of Cisco Systems.
• Ingvar Kamprad, Swedish founder and chairman of IKEA stores
• David Neeleman, founder and CEO of Jet Blue Airways.
• Paul Orfalea, the founder of Kinkos.
• Charles Schwab, the founder, chairperson, and CEO of the Charles Schwab Corporation, the largest brokerage firm in the U.S."

I've decided this is exciting - It's tough raising my future CEO but I'm really getting excited about what's ahead!