Saturday, February 26, 2011

Road Trip Wild Guy!

Weekends can be a recipe for disaster at our house so as often as possible, we're filling them with action & fun! I'd really like a long boring day, listening to music and baking cookies, but that's a rare experience in my home.  Bobby had been doing relatively well in school for the past few weeks (just a 7 on the richter scale instead of 10) but life happens and this week has been rougher at home and school. So......pack the overnight bags and off we go! I'm soloing this one which I've done many times so there's really no "down time" for me this weekend.

Something about the rapidly changing scene out the windows and the mystery of where we'll end up and what we'll do, seems to calm this kid tremendously. He loves museums and historical spots (which his older siblings never did - amazingly) so we can actually educate him while taming his ceaseless energy.

Bobby says I'm taking him to Cabela's while we're here. I'd be almost as excited to get a tooth pulled but this is what HE enjoys and when you've got a busy boy.....ya gotta do what he wants to do as well! (Maybe we'll swap for a fast run through the mall when we're done looking at guy stuff!)

For me, this journey is about understanding, learning & being truly happy. I'm learning, seeking to understand and believe I am truly happy (most of the time!)

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

"I'm On Your Team!"

I've been down the ADHD path as a teacher but it doesn't begin to compare to traveling this road as the parent.  There's no PhD or Md after my name. Nor do I pretend to understand the science of this disease  disorder.  But I have studied the day-to-day ins and outs of coping with ADHD in the home. I've read until my eyeballs popped & I have listened to the stories of other parents who are trying to navigate this journey. It is because of this exposure and experience that I believe I am fully qualified to make a generalization about improving the self-esteem and functionality of ADHD kids. Here it is...

These kids need people around them who are ON THEIR TEAM! Who believe in them regardless. These people are older student mentors, parents of other kids, preachers, grandparents, coaches, aunts, uncles, brothers, sisters, teachers & principals. I believe that improvement WILL BE SEEN in the kids who have this strong support system in place. No question. The more team players....the stronger the team. I'm not delusional. I know these folk SEE his naughtiness ---but they love him in spite of it!

Bobby has a long road ahead of him but he's going to bed happy more often than angry or sad these days. I tribute the "team players" for this improvement. May every ADHD kiddo be surrounded by such a team.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Where Many Entrepreneurs Get Their Start......

One of my first blogs was about Entrepreneurs and the label they had in common. Just a hunch they didn't sit still in 4th grade Math class.  And look where they are today! Bringing back a favorite blog, to maybe offer hope to another mom....

I've been reading about entrepreneurs & celebrities who admit to having ADHD.  Actor Jim Carrey  soared to the top of my suspicions long ago  & Ty Pennington of "Extreme Makeover, Home Edition" in  more recent years, just proved to me that energy, if channeled correctly, could go far to bless others. I remind myself that they are successful because of that out-of-control energy level & out-of-the-box thinking that are synonymous with ADHD.  Were these celebrities & entrepreneurs tough to raise? I don't know but I'm guessing their mothers' blogs would have looked something like mine or just maybe crazier!

The following excerpt is from Psychology Today, "7 Habits of Highly Successful Entrepreneurs with ADHD," written by  Shane K. Perrault, PhD who is the Coach and Psychologist at Entrepreneurs with ADHD:

"Believe it or Not, people with ADHD are 300% more likely to start their own business (see The Davinci Method, by Garret Loporto), and many business leaders have ADHD. To name a few accomplished business people with ADHD:
  • Richard Branson, founder of Virgin Airlines.
  • John T. Chambers, CEO of Cisco Systems.
  • Ingvar Kamprad, Swedish founder and chairman of IKEA stores
  • David Neeleman, founder and CEO of Jet Blue Airways.
  • Paul Orfalea, the founder of Kinkos.
  • Charles Schwab, the founder, chairperson, and CEO of the Charles Schwab Corporation, the largest brokerage firm in the U.S."
I've decided this is exciting - It's tough raising my future CEO but I'm really getting excited about what's ahead!

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Surprise! It's Not All About The Kids?

In this day and age, I'm not sure it's politically correct to say that but it is true. I have spent the past 10 years putting the majority of my energy into my son's needs. (The other 3 kids are mostly grown but they still could use a bit more of our time!)  He's ADHD so we have to examine his diet, his meds, be sure he has the best physician for his needs. Seems like we're always meeting with the teachers & spending extra hours listening to the problems he has created outside the home. This doesn't even figure in all the mornings of trying to get him through his routine and out the door in time for a school day he's not too jazzed about.  Evenings and weekends are full & generally pretty crazy. This routine just cycles around and around throughout the months and years. Honestly, we're exhausted. A year ago, I was completely drained & filled with sadness and despair.

And before one jumps to the conclusion I'm alone in this and an unloving mother.....let me say I'm certain I'm speaking for every conscientious mom who has raised or is raising an ADHD child! And, we couldn't love these kids more! We are their parents and this is our God-given responsibility. We take it seriously.

But we need rejuvenating. We need quiet alone times and fun times with friends. We need listening ears & patient families and friends. These are basic needs that allow us to be healthier.  I've been on a quest to discover coping skills. This began a year ago and today I can say confidently, I am in a better state of mind.  Still drained but loving life & my precious son. I'd like to think I'm a better mom because I'm taking time for me. Proud to be your mom, Bobby. Love you!

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

"Fixing His Bike"

There are bike parts all over the driveway. Apparently when you run over a nail, the entire bike needs to come apart to see exactly what needs fixing. And, when you're just 10 it's pretty hard to navigate your way back to a whole bike. So...just keep unscrewing stuff. And unscrewing stuff....and unscrewing the last screws & bolts that assemble that bike. Suddenly, you are "finished." Now try to put it back together. If it doesn't work, toss the whole lot into the pile headed for the scrap yard. I wandered by several times as I took care of farm animals. Each time I said, "you probably shouldn't take any more off that bike," he told me everything was under control. What do I know? I'm just a mom. I do know one thing. Even though he was getting too big for that bike, we had NO intentions of replacing it yet. Taking it completely apart without guidance or permission isn't cool. And, now that Dad's seen his "scrap" pile, there won't be a new bike coming out of our budget. I overheard something about "using your head" and "not destroying a good bike" in their conversation. I left that one for Dad.

Awww, impulsivity, curiosity & determination aren't always a good combination. Someday, his curiosity & determination minus the impulsivity may be more effective. In the meantime, Bobby will need to get a job if he ever wants another bike. He could use his skateboard. It's still in one piece (for now)!