Thursday, October 24, 2013

Guest Blog by Katherine Ellison

"Katherine Ellison is a Pulitzer-Prize winning investigative journalist, former foreign correspondent, writing consultant, author of five books, and mother of two sons...." (taken from Reading this entry has warmed my heart and put a smile on my face. Kindred spirits we are. Check out this youtube clip:  Thank you for stopping by, Katherine!

From Katherine Ellison: As anyone who has read my ADHD memoir knows, my dear, brilliant, first-born son, referred to as “Buzz,” has caused me lots of aggravation. Along with that, however, has come the silver lining of extraordinary friendships with other mothers in the same boat . We’re like wry war veterans, vying to outdo each other with our stories of blood and gore. No one who hasn’t been in our shoes could possibly understand us like we can. Take Cindy – a nom de mom – whom I met when Buzz was just starting kindergarten. She and I share a diagnosis of adult ADHD , but have been super-organized, through the years, in collecting and trading referrals for therapists, tutors, and, alas, on more than one occasion, lawyers. During crises, like the time her son spent a night in juvenile hall for something that actually wasn’t his fault, or the time my son came home unexpectedly from a planned school trip to Costa Rica, for something that was, we’ve called each other up to eight times a day, usually just to say, “Are you okay?” I read somewhere that when mothers were asked their favorite coping method, the most common answer was “red wine.” For me, it’s often schadenfreude, that admittedly vaguely antisocial sensation of taking a little bit of pleasure in someone else’s misfortune. Moms of difficult kids often generously exert ourselves to offer it to each other. When Buzz got suspended from high school for the second time in a month for talking back to his teachers, my friend Mary (another nom de mom) eagerly shared a story about her son, who had recently been arrested – by a SWAT team – after carrying a pellet gun down a city street. In a world of bumper stickers boasting about honor students, this rare camaraderie, also reflected in the website-turned-movement, “Shut Up About Your Perfect Kid,” is a balm. Jill Bolte Taylor, in her entertaining TED talk about the teenage brain, concludes with the motto she offers parents: “Just keep ‘em alive ‘til 25.” It’s easier said than done, when half the time you want to strangle them yourself. For mothers of difficult kids, the teenage years are of course particularly full of stress and peril, with the light at the end of the tunnel of their living at home sometimes all too faint. What keeps me on my feet is the support from these brave gals who know me better than anyone. We never have to tell each other how much we love our kids; that’s understood. We can also talk about how much we want to kill them without our friends calling the police. Friendship –and of course the capacity to laugh about what in any other context would be major embarrassments – puts it all in perspective, holds us together, and makes up for quite a lot. Katherine Ellison was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 48. She is the author of five books, most recently “Square Peg: My Story and What it Means for Raising Innovators, Visionaries, and Out-of-the-Box Thinkers.” and Healthline - Connect Here

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