Thursday, March 6, 2014

"Just A Boy" or ADHD?

He's 13 now. We've been collecting stories of our experience for years and any "one" of those stories could be plucked from the bio of any modern-day American boy. Or any boy, really. The truth is, these stories are our existence. Day-to-day and hour-by-hour. Our boy shoots from the hip, then thinks. This thinking is only present if the outcome of the situation has affected him in any adverse way. Otherwise, there is no time for reflection as the next "event" is already under way. to capture this energy and force into good doesn't happen simply by desire.
 
Bobby's dad and I talk throughout every single day, of ways we can reach him and work to motivate good. Often our first words are "Is Bobby up?" or "Where is Bobby" and as we fall asleep, if we aren't saying these same words, we are no-doubt thinking them. Because of the intensity of Bobby's behavior in spite of diligent and continual efforts on our part, we have agreed with our physician's diagnosis of ADHD. Yes, Bobby's "just a boy." Just a boy with ADHD.
 
If I could look into the future I would not see calm at any point in his life, not for the next few decades. As for hyperactivity & misbehavior, I pray that with consistent boundaries, modeling appropriate life behaviors and regular outlets for exercise, our son will grow into a young man who is proud of his place in life and what he accomplishes. In the last 2 weeks Bobby has managed to get into his normal share of trouble in and out of school. We've talked, worked through and resolved numerous infractions, the details of which are unimportant here. It's the stuff we parents go through with our special kids.
 
Some days I laugh and some days I cry. I never know ahead what's coming. Maybe that's good. But what I do know is one day at a time is best and sometimes I take it all minute-by-minute. Right now he is sleeping. I think. It's quiet anyway.

5 comments:

Penny Williams said...

Charlotte,

I didn't see another way to reach out to you from your blog. Please consider adding my new book, "Boy Without Instructions: Surviving the Learning Curve of Parenting a Child with ADHD," to your list of books in the sidebar of your blog. Find it on amazon: http://bit.ly/BWIcharlottesweb. Thanks! Penny

Charlotte said...

Hi Penny, I haven't read this one but just as soon as I get ahold of it and read it I will! Thank you! Best wishes out in the ADHD trenches!

Anne said...

I drove my mother crazy. Now I know I was an ADD kid. My attention span didn't exist. My trip to school took a path like family circus, and I was always reprimanded by teachers for daydreaming. That was a different era. Somehow, there is a double edged sword to labeling and diagnosis. Still so much work to be done.

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Therapy in Toronto said...

Thank you very much for sharing this article. My son has also been the brunt of much bullying. He is ADHD, and also has Aspberger symptoms. Your blog is so beneficial. He is about this age...and the distractions of technology are very great!
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